The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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