very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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