please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
