bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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