Got a toothbrush?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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