His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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