Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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