marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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