i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just googled if crying burns calories
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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