My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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