He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
