went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
