Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize