Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
you never un-have a 4some
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
