margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
