His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
