discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
