Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
