before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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