Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
