You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
