he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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