Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
