Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
