i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
