alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
