btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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