my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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