the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
