Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Say something about gay babies.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
