i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
