yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
