i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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