I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
