yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
porn star boner night. come get it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
