well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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