; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
