turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
