Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
