Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
