You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
