I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize