my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize