Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
