It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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