please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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