A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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