It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize