i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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