Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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