Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
