I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize