Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
