nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
