I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
