Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
