I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
