Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
