Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm both gender and math confused
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
