He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
