playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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