apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
