Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
