3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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