I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
