dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
