waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
