i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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