In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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