Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
