Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
