I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
