imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
