So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
