He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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