We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
