Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i love accidental penises.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize